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I can never really relate or understand when comedians or pop culture make the "old ball 'n chain" jokes. They're funny, but since it's never been my reality where I've had any control in a relationship with a man, it makes me feel left out like I'm abnormal or that the men have always ruled over and abused me because I'm worthless and unlovable. Sorry to take such a dark turn on what is still a hilarious clip, but I was just thinking how sometimes these kind of jokes just always depress me and remind me that any man I dare to get with will be cold, apathetic and controlling towards me. If I ever even *dared* to so much make a request of them, let alone *demand* it, I'd be left in a heartbeat. I'm not worth sticking around for. They only want sex.
"Something must be bothering Buttercup!" 🤣😂🤣
"If you were sleeping you wouldn't have heard it!" LOL! God bless!
3 am in the morning gave me Bill Burr vibes
this guy is hilarious, how havent I heard about him before??????????
I love this guy!
True humor is a gift. Most comedians today don't even know what it is, presuming insults and crassness are humor. For something to be funny, it has to break the line of safety, and yet be safe. [more accurately, it has to be a violation, and yet safe. For instance puns are a linguistic violation, and yet safe. Absurdity isn't real, and therefore safe. What's yellow and dangerous? Shark infested pudding.] Chimps have a sense of humor too, but they only have one joke: the fake chase by daddy, "Gonna getcha!!" and the baby chimp falls into a pile of giggles. (Okay, maybe two jokes... The first chimp to be taught sign language was riding on the shoulder of her trainer when she peed a flood. When asked why she did that, she signed back, "Funny!") In Jeff's case, the violation is that he breaks the code of silence, but it's safe because his wife isn't there.Another theory about humor is you talk about one thing, but gain understanding in another area. "Do these clothes make me look fat?" and the correct answer is, "Do I look stupid?" (stalemate) Absolutely the wrong answer is, "No, dear. Your 16 stone body makes you look fat!" (If you need to look up the conversion between Stone and Pounds, I'll wait while the joke bomb ticks down.) My wrong answer was: "Darling, you're not fat; you're morbidly obese. Fat is more than 15% over ideal body weight. Obese is over 25%, and morbidly obese happens when your body weight is more than 50% above what the chart says is your ideal body weight should be." Apparently accuracy was not my girl's goal.And a final thing about humor: it must come from the heart. Noting the absurdity in a relationship, and staying in love anyway is all heart. Thank you Jeff. You done good.
Exercise Bike CommentYears ago I was in a weight loss program. The University of Florida was doing a rural weight loss management experiment: they wanted to explore the differences in presentation modes, and which were more effective. I got the note in the mail, and I figured it couldn't hurt, so I signed up. Four months later I'm going once a week to a weight loss program. In part because I got ten bucks for showing up, and in part because it was held in the library annex, so it was a good excuse to check out new books on Tuesdays. Anyway, here I was, the only guy in a class with twelve chubby women and the director, a perky cheerleader type who'd never weighed more than ideal in her life. I called it "chubby heaven." There was a mother and a daughter there, and they were like unto chubby twins separated by age. They laughed alike, they had the same accent, they dressed alike, and they were both equally adorable. The mother said, "Why would I want to go for a walk around the block, when I'm where I want to be already? I'll go get the mail, I'm not so lazy that I'll drive to the mail box, and that's like two minutes away!" And these gals hit on me! I couldn't make that up; I'm a chubby nerd, and these gals are hitting on me! I went on a walking with one of the gals, and after the walk we went back to her apartment where she cooked hamburgers for me and her ten year old son, who's name was Damien. Nothing naughty happened, not with that chaperone, not holding hands, not kissing, not anything! In the corner of her living room was a treadmill, upon which hung clothes drying. We sat on the couch watching Don't Mess with the Zohan, with Damien sitting between us. A good time was had by all: Damien got to stay up late, I got a hamburger, and Bubbles got some attention. (not her real name, of course; but it was indeed her personality type, and the reason I'd agreed to a walk in 90 degree / 100% humidity Florida weather.)Anyway, at the next class the instructor said, "The primary use of treadmills is to hold laundry." I was useless for the next five minutes. Even now I can picture Bubbles glaring at me, and I still snicker...A mile and a half? You've done better than most, padawan.The five languages of love? I read that book back when I was going through my divorce. As I recall the languages are Gifts, More Gifts, Trying to be Heard, I'd Love to Fix Your Car, and Bleeding. I'm fluent in them all.
what a cac up funny guy
"You're fat and we joined a health club." -- I couldn't stop laughing!!!!!
All I have to do is look at Jeff Allen to begin laughing. Now I've got a belly ache and its funnier every single time.
Too darn funny!
Things I can never post on Facebook, lest my wife sees it.
One of the best comedians i´ve ever seen!
Jeff---u r my VERY FAVORITE!!!!! Thanks for the laughs!!! My husband and I have been married almost 30 years!! U r so relatable!!!
😂😂😂😂 what he said exactly
Men empower yourselves and don't stay with the type of women he is describing.
😂😂😂 I pray that this is sarcasm
😂😂😂 I pray this is sarcasm
I just don't like this kind of humor. It's so demeaning. My wife and I are partners. Stuff like this makes me sad for people.
This guy is Great
MGTOW SAVED MY LIFE.
I thought it was beautiful too jeff
He's actually very good.
Have to say, I prefer dirty comedy.
i needed this....too funny....how lazy you gotta be 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Something must be bothering buttercup! And then.... pure hell!
This is my parents to a T
Yes I'm watching on my phone and laffing!!!! Alot! On the tram! 😄🤣
My husband and I are lazy too, call me kids so they can turn off our room light 💡 😂😂 and it’s only like 2 steps away from our bed 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️😂😂
This guy suckd badly
The most fun old man out there 😂
Love you jeffGod bless you
Jeff Allen is HILARIOUS. I’m in bed watching this Guy with tears of laughter. I’m forwarding to all my buddies.
Real funny guy!!!
Glad to say I know mine. Quality time. All I ask is your time and attention.
This is truth
Jeff Allen....HYSTERICAL😂 and tells TRUTH!👏
Oh my gosh!! This is awesome!! I'm in tears laughing!!! My sides literally hurt from laughing...
This guy is like perfectly aged wine🍷🍷🍷
"3 o'clock in the morning, I heard a noise. Here's your spine. Go down and see what it was." ROFL! xD
"if he tracked mud on the hardwood floor, she'd rip his thyroid out" 😂😂😂😂😂
My wife told me she's fat and I said why is that my problem your fat I'm not.
2:04 !! XD
Absolutely LOVE this comedian's style of funny!!! Clean, real life, and to the point!!!😂😂😂
Brilliance on another level
This is hilarious! Couldn’t stop laughing 😆🤣
This man is GOLD when it comes to marriage advice! LOVE him!
***WARNING*** Do not take this man's comedy lightly, I was taking a sip of water from a bottle and nearly choked on a teaspoon of water when I started laughing at the exercise bike joke.ESclips, where the heck is the disclaimer message!
get rid of the laugh track
He is honestly one of my favorite comedians on this channel! Hilarious 😂
looks like old ryland gosling
He needs mgtow in his life
@spacemonkey340 have way more money and way more peace
No one needs mgtow in their lives.
I can relate. My mom used to call me to let the cat in. She was sitting on the couch holding the other cat and I was in my room.
this is absolutely halarious. love it!
Lmfaoooooo......too good toooooooo good
I had to keep going back as I missed bits from laughing at the earlier lines.
I love Jeff Allen
Perfect timing, perfect wording, perfect expressions and motions. Jeff Allen is a comedic genius.
Just perfect! He cracks me up!
Women have rejected their roles in a relationship which is why they end up alone with 13 cats.
Is he related to Tim Allen?
Elderly love language. Hysterical!